when the housemates are an asexual person, a chastity fetishist and somebody with a lethal peanut allergy
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By Czeck writer Karel Čapek, inventor of the term ‘robot’ as well!
This is one of my husband’s favorite short stories. He quotes it from memory. I’m pretty sure he can recite the entire thing from memory.
This is a tremendously impactful short story and every time I see it, it serves as an excellent reboot button for my state of mind.
Splatoon universe garfielfd
Then this is Odie.
sorry couldn’t stop thinking about them in stats class
@punkitt-is-here Susan Squidpayer.
Truck comes first and if there is any money left over the kids may eat. - Modern Consumer Patriarchy
she got her degree and started removing the parasite 🙏
Tinfoil hat moment but I don't think he was dumb, I think he was strategic. He put her in a situation in which she had to either: sell her car (so the only means of transportation is now in his name), or maybe even to drop out (to have time for the second job) if she wants to feed the kids. He did it right when she was aaaaaalmost done with her degree. Either way, it's sabotage.
Sometimes when an action makes NO sense to us ("he's like a stupid alien"), it's bc we are not understanding its true motivation/purpouse. If his goal was control, financial pressure and limiting her options due to lack of funds, it makes perfect sensie to buy the truck.
Tinfoil hat moment over!
I wanna add that a lot of times people look at abusers like they are Moriarty, and assume that their actions are planned ahead of time. But I think most abusers are actually really impulsive and really bad at planning more than a few moves ahead.
Therefore, here is an alternative explanation based entirely on his impulsive feelings:
She's getting near the end of her degree, she's going to be making a lot more than him when she finishes. This makes him angry and jealous. The closer she gets to finishing, the stronger his anger and jealousy gets.
Well, if she's gonna be making so much more than me, the least she can do is pay for my truck. And maybe if she had to pay for this truck she wouldn't even be able to finish school. Then I'd still be man of the house. That would really show her whose boss. Now I feel more in control and less jealous.
"Honey, I bought a truck."
I think we often talk about abusers like we talk about evolution. We say polar bears evolved to have white coats for camouflage. We talk about evolution like it has a plan and is doing things on purpose. But evolution doesn't care about camouflage. Birth rates are all that matter, but evolution doesn't even "care" about them.
I think the majority of abusers don't actually plan things out. They just act impulsively on malicious feelings. It makes them feel good to have lots of power, so they take whatever power they can find. It makes them feel good to make their victims uncomfortable so they do that.
Most abuse tactics can be explained (and should be defended against) as if they are strategic. Just like evolution, it's just easier to talk about that way. But I think most abuser tactics are really just the consequence of impulsively acting on malicious feelings.
Basically: I don't think you need a tinfoil hat. Abusers like gaining power. And they don't need conspiracy or long term planning to get that power.
Having seen both the strategic and the kneejerk scenarios play out irl, I think the important thing to recognize is that it is abuse, and the level of planning is immaterial to the fact that, even if he wasn’t particularly intending to lash out and harm her / the offspring, this is an abusive and coercive situation, enabled by an entire society of abusive coercive shit.*
Also having been there in the fray on that board when this post was hours old** - OMFG I AM SO GLAD SHE GOT OUT.
*, ** - someone tried to argue at me that because babysitters are cheap where they live, “her” “choice” to spend $500/wk on daycare for THEIR (joint) kid where they live was the real irresponsibility in the picture. This whole situation was possible because she was assigned by both the father and their social environment the responsibility for a baby THEY made, and because society has landed that responsibility solely on the shoulders of women, we don’t prioritize access to childcare, trapping women and other birthing parents in coercive situations like the above. Universal childcare when?
no territorialism between different kinds of moral eels, they know they’re all the same ridiculous thing
me and the boys
happy moray eel monday and happy 5th birthday to this post which has single handedly overtaken my notifications on several occasions